June 13, 2021


Many couples fear infidelity and unfaithfulness in their partners because this has been established, over the years, as a major destroyer of marriages. What results from this is an undue vigilance and suspicion that a partner might be cheating with another man/woman, whereas the relationship is getting hit in other places that would not be noticed until the dent becomes too bad to be fixed. If you are married, in a relationship or looking forward to getting into one someday, here are five things to watch out for, because they might just be as terrible as infidelity or even worse:    

1. Holding In Feelings: While heavy conflict is exhausting in a relationship, it usually comes as a result of distance and disengagement. Where partners choose to not express and discuss their issues, the end of that relationship might just be getting closer than they think. Partners act differently when they choose to bury their feelings. They make themselves unavailable to each other which results to withdrawal, and even when they spend time with each other, they may not fully engage in conversations or any form of bonding. At other times, partners can react inappropriately because their emotions are pulling them in a different direction from where they really want to be. When you express how you really feel (in an appropriate manner), problems get solved, relationship issues get resolved and life becomes easier. In addition, you will love your life better because you’re not holding on to unhealed or confusing feelings. So it’s best to discuss your feelings and emotions with your partners at all times and let them know when they offend or displease you, rather than holding in your feelings and keeping grudges.

2. Contacting Exes: It is a thing of joy to be married to the person one loves, but there are some partners, who, despite being married, are still tied to their exes. They just can’t let go. Rather than break such bond, they continually give reasons why they cannot do away with such relationships. Some of them even say that the relationships are harmless and their partners should not lose sleep over them. Well, we aren’t saying it is completely a bad thing, but there are partners who become extremely secretive about this, and doing it a lot too often isn’t healthy for an ongoing relationship or marriage. Sometimes, this could even count as actively cheating on your present partner. . This situation is one that many people face in modern society. Keeping in touch with an ex is a big issue and most times causes hitches among couples. So to keep the marriage or relationship going, it is best to stay away from exes no matter what your reason for keeping in touch is.  

3. Too Much Concentration: On TV And Phones As mild as this might sound, it can go a long way in destroying a blissful relationship or marriage. When partners choose to always watch TV or stay fixated to their phones at all times when they should be talking to each other or enjoying each other’s company, this could have a long-term damaging effect on the relationship. Therefore, it is very important that shared time is shared wisely.  

4. Alcoholism: This is an issue that is often overlooked when discussing relationship problems. The word alcoholism depicts a severe drinking disorder and in any relationship where a partner suffers this, there could be trouble because a drunk person isn’t ever in his right senses, and could do or say stuff with really damaging effects. Now imagine that happening every day. Imagine the destructive effect it could have on your relationship. A person who engages in heavy drinking on a regular basis is prone to be faced with many emotional, physical and psychological challenges, which tend to be most fully expressed in their intimate relationships. People with an alcohol problem usually have a very hard time maintaining healthy relationships because of their excessive alcohol intake.  

5. Being Married To A Job: When your partner never calls, doesn’t reply calls or messages, or is always away at work and seems always absorbed in work even when he’s at home with you, this poses a difficulty especially if you are married. The implication of this is either that your partner is intentionally avoiding intimacy, or that there are issues in the relationship that they would rather stay away from, instead of facing them head on. It could also be that partner’s nature or that a relationship with someone else has blossomed at work. Whichever of these is the case, it is a problem that could bring the marriage to its end sooner or later. Cheating has a very strong possibility of bringing a relationship to an end no matter how strong that relationship is, but these five things, however underrated, are just as bad, especially when allowed to fester. They could end your relationship just as cheating or infidelity would.

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