June 13, 2021


In one of my Relationship Talks, I discussed on this topic 
“EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IN RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE ”, There was a question on `why do men find it difficult to listen and give due attention to their wives?` One of the guys in the discussion answered and said “Most of the time, some women just enjoy irrelevant conversations and the men are too busy to sit and listen to those unproductive words”
I pondered on his answer. You will agree with me that, of a truth, women are gifted in talking and can speak at length to the person they love so much, but there are tactics to speaking ,most especially to your husband, if you really desire his attention. 
There is a time to talk and there is a time to be quiet. As a woman, you must study your husband’s mood. It is not all the time that your husband want to converse with you or listen to you and that does not mean he hates you or fighting with you. When he just returns back from work is not the right time to begin to report the bad attitude the children displayed in School ,the NEPA and Water bills they brought or television subscription that is due. 
Another thing is when you have hurts against him,before you express yourself study his mood. Ensure he is in a relaxed mood . When you take note that your husband is tired and he is dozing already during conversations then it is the right time to be quiet. Don’t begin to nag him and force him to listen to what you have to say. 
Men are given to few words ,they don’t have all the time to sit and listen to gists that are unproductive and irrelevant. If you desire to get your husbands attention avoid gossips, repetitive gists, emphasizing on one issue for long time; Nagging. Communicate with intelligence, give words of advice,speak words of wisdom, discus in the area of his interest. Discus issues that solves his problems and productive to him. Correct him too, but do it in love. Talk about your feelings, desire, emotions and needs too. 
Season your words with the salt of grace .Ensure your speeches are graced always and encouraging. Deliberately choose words that are edifying. If your husband knows that your words are mind breaking, and he feels down casted any time you speak ,I assure you, he will always avoid talking to you. He will be scared and will not know the next bomb you are about to release on him. Avoid always blaming him,even when he is to be blamed. Don’t talk to him like you are talking to your son or house maid. Talk with him don’t talk at him. Correct him in love,do not sharply rebuke him.
One key that will work for you is to always praise him,hail him,boost his ego ,any time you are having any conversation with him. Praise him when he says the right thing. Use appreciative words when in deep conversation with him. 
Some women are given to too much talking. They can talk for Africa, When you want to say your own, they will tell you to wait ,that they are not through yet. Such women should learn to listen when their husbands are talking to them. Whenever you don’t pay attention to what your husband is saying you send a message that you don’t value him .When you listen to him you tell him that you respect and love him. When you listen you also increase in knowledge. 
Don’t just talk in your marriage, have meaningful communication.
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