Faith is the ability to concise yourself that something positive will happen in the future, even if there is nothing or present clue that it will happen, and every marriage that end up in the rust is as a result of lake of faith. They stop believing they stop hoping, that any change will happen in the future, so that is why they end up in devious. Faith is very important if you want to keep your marriage to the end. The bible tells us what faith is, it says “faith is the substance hoped for, evidence of things not yet seen” by this elders obtain good report. Through faith we understand that the world was formed by the word of God, which are seen and make out of things not seen, in my own word, it is what you hold in what you believe God for. The bible said without faith it’s impossible to please God, for he that cometh to God must believe that he is the rewarder of them that diligently seek Him. If you want to please God then faith is important because without it you cannot please Him. Hebrews 10:38 says “now the just shall live by faith” so God never told us to live with what we see, but by faith. Everything we do is by faith. Marriage is by faith, because when you got married at the first place, you never saw the future, you only believed that it will be well, then if you enter marriage by faith then you should sustain marriage by faith, it’s not until you see before you believe. When you got into marriage you never saw the next year, but you had believe that things were going to work out, that is faith, then if you enter by faith then you can only sustain it by faith. You don’t see before you believe, you believe before you see, the world will tell you “seen is believing” but God says believing is seeing. Faith made God to be pleased with you and also open heavens for you. When you see people who constantly complain about their spouses, they always have closed heavens, they are always complaining, there is nothing their spouses does that pleases them. If we have been able to establish that faith pleases God, then how does faith please you spouses?
When you have faith it helps you to overlook your spouse behavior or wrong doings. You are no longer looking at what he or she is doing but looking at what they will become. In other words you will no longer respond to them on how they are today but what you see them to be in the future, automatically you become like Jesus to man, who said while they were yet in sin I loved them, He did not see you to be righteous before He loved you, in spite of all the things you were doing which was wrong, but he was loving you in sin, and that exactly what faith does. Whenever you stop complaining about any person you will notice that they start coming close to you. Complains drives people away, you think you are trying to make them do well but because you are complaining they will go far from you. When God was thinking about marriage He was thinking about companionship not complainers. And when you have faith it makes you put all into your marriage, many are married today but they are not putting all into their marriage because their heart is divided. One part of their heart will be maybe this will work out or maybe it will end up in devious so why should I put in all, and because they are not using their all, the marriage will definitely fail. But when you have faith, you are so sure, there is something that tells you “tomorrow will be greater than today” so because of that you are able to invest everything, and because you are investing everything the other person cannot exitate to reciprocate back. It is the law of nature “when you give you receive,” in marriage people makes the mistake of thinking of their spouses to start giving, instead of them to start giving and over time their spouses reciprocate back to them.
Treat them better, faith they said is the substance of things hoped for and evidence of things not yet seen, so it means the attitude you did not get from them is in your hand. When you have faith you will know how to treat your spouse better, and with time your spouse starts responding back to you all you have put into that relationship. So if you have spouse that drinks to stupor right now, you don’t longer see them as drunker, with the eyes of faith you are seeing them of what they will become, not the drunker you see today. If you having a cheating spouse instead of you to be yelling at him or her, not that you will not feel pain or get hurt but because of the faith you have you will know this will temporary and it will end one day. And because of that faith you are able to accommodate what he does and responds to him in a better way, than if you don’t have.
No relationship can survive or be successful without mutual respect, no relationship, either business relationship, sexual relationship any relationship can survive without mutual respect for one another. You know your spouse’s witness does not give you the room to start disrespecting them. Know that the reason you get to know about the witness was trust, he trust you that was why he allowed you to see his inner witness, for you to be disregarding them is wrong. If he does not allow you in there would have been no way you could. Do you know there are lots of things you know about your spouse that nobody knows? Because they are not close to those people. Whatever you know about your spouse is because he or she has given you the privilege to know those things, so it will very wrong to start disregarding them because of what you know. Romans 12:10 says love one another with brotherly affection and do one another by doing honor, just imagine if what you think of everyday is to outdo your spouse in honoring them, imagine the kind of marriage you will have? I want every woman to know this, “you can’t lose a man you respect.” Marriage is a test for humility for all women, God want to test you and see how humble you are as a woman. God has put so many things in you especially women who are extra ordinarily gifted, you are intelligent, gifted, the world celebrates you, He puts you in marriage as a test for you, to see wither because of the qualities and gift He has given to you if you will become arrogant at home. Everything you have God made you to have them, to start looking down on your man because he does not have those things, it is wrong before the sight of the Lord. He gave you those things so you can use them to help him, no to begin to start looking at him as, he is so lazy, he is so this, he is so that. Two people where referred to in the bible as a helper, the Holy Spirit and woman, you were given those qualities to be able to help the man up. Women have a lot of responsibilities, you can’t just leave him alone because he makes mistakes.
For men the best thing to do to bring the best out of your wife is to see that she is honored as well. It’s not one angle. This is a key to every man who wants to be successful, “likewise husband live with your wife in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as a weaker vessel……..so that your prayers may not be hindered.” So when you don’t honor your wife your prayers become hindered. Show her honor to bring out the best in her and your heavens will be open. A lot of people are going through financial straggle not knowing it’s because of the way they are treating each other. Their heavens are closed, not know why. I want you to know respect is contagious, when you show me respect, I show it back to you, if you show respect, you see respect, that’s how it works.
USE OF YOUR TONGUE
If everyone can use their tongue the exact manual God purpose it, we will win friends, we will stay healthy, we will become worthy and we will be victorious in every aspect of our life if we can use our tongue the way God purpose us to use it. We are exactly the way God is, whether we believe it or not, things works in our hands the way it works in the hands of God. The life we are living today is as a result of what we spoke yesterday, spoken words go to your future and stay there, and that was exact how God created the world what he saw was as a result of what He spoke. Words sometimes cannot be reversed, the only way you can manage to reverse what you have spoken is to use a higher word to counter what you have spoken, I want you to know this today, any word you speak using the name of Jesus becomes a higher authority over the previous, now there is hope, because I have not seen someone who has said I will divorce you in the name of Jesus, because people did not use the higher word then there is hope, cos we can reverse our word saying, in the name of Jesus I am not going to be divorce. It’s only the ones who has said I will divorce you in Jesus name that cannot be reversed. So if you have been tearing your home down with your tongue you can reverse it with the higher power which is the name of Jesus. When most of us are angry we say things that we are not supposed to say. Learn to start speaking positive words using the higher authority. When God said in Genesis 3:19, He was causing man because He was angry, He said by the sweat of your faith you shall eat bread till you return to the ground for out of the ground you were taken, for dust you are and dust you shall return. So we have to be careful of what we say when we are angry. If we can understand this word which is the Latin word which God speaks and believe in it and work with it then it rules over the other. A strong application of faith and persistence is very important when we have torn our marriage down with our words, we have to re-consciously rebuild it with our own word. From today be careful of what you say, start deliberately saying great things into your future.
Finally what so ever is true, what so ever is honorable, what so ever is just, what so ever is pure, what so ever is lovely, what so ever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything wordy of praise think of these things. Imagine you are thinking of your spouse base on the truth, not based on what they do, remember the word of God is the truth, remember it is what the word of God things of him you should be calling him. Imagine the only thing you think about your spouse is an honorable thought, things that are just, things that are lovely, because you constantly build him up in your spirit and in your mind, he will be builded up before you. Except from your marriage imagination is applicable to every aspect of life, you may be broke now, but start thing of yourself wealthy.
No marriage can actually survive without prayers, there are somethings that physically you can just handle it, no life can succeed without prayers. We all need supernatural help, we all came from the supernatural, any person that does not believe that there is God is a stupid person, and the bible said “it’s only a fool that does not know there is God.” No one can live without prayers, 1st John 5:14-15 says this is the confidence we have towards Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us, that’s prayers. He says if we ask according to His will, marriage is the will of God. 1stCornicles 16:11 says seek the lord and its straight, seek his presences continuously. There is no ceremony about prayer, you can pray anywhere and anytime.
FORGIVENESS AND SEX
Most marriage does not longer enjoy passion intimacy because of unforgiveness. What they do is fulfill marital obligation, but its two different things, they just do it because they want to fulfill marital obligation, but that’s what it’s not supposed to be. God want you to enjoy passionate love making, not only He brought intimacy in marriage, it’s also an access to answer prayers.
How do you know you have left one for the other?
Ø If your goal of sexual intimacy is orgasm, you are no longer having a healthy sexual life. The goal should be you bond, you spend time together, it’s not just that last act that you are looking at.
Ø If you are no longer spending time kissing. Do you know anyone can sleep with anybody, that’s why people can sleep with prostitute? The difference that tells that you are sleeping with your spouse is spending time to kiss them, play, speak words to each other, tell them how much you love them and feel them afresh. That’s what sexual intimacy is supposed to do, but if you are no longer doing that it means you have reduced your marriage to the wrong actions of your spouse, then you are no longer enjoying sexual intimacy.
It will surprise you that some spouses don’t have sex in months, some don’t at all. How can a couple say they have not had sex in two year, which means you don’t have marriage any more. Sex is marriage, your spouse is not a prayer partner. God did not bring you people together to be praying, that’s not just the only reason, your relationship can pray, yes but that’s not the only reason, sex itself is prayer. God created your organs for the purpose of that, so anytime you use it you are giving worship to God. We have to learn to put aside what our spouse had done in the past and still doing so you can be able to relate with them. Note secrecy is what Satan likes cos it helps you to commit sin, if you know that she knows, tell the truth, when you tell the truth it is giving her assurance that you will not go back to that sin. Let her know, don’t let her suspect. Let’s stop defying the marriage bed, it is so wrong, it’s for husband and wife alone. There is nothing that can bring bond in marriage than passionate sexual intimacy.