Flexibility is the mother of friendship, what we mean by been flexible means the ability to adjust and adapt to situation easily. Not to be rigid not to be stiff, there are lot of people who are stiff and rigid (this is the way I want it done and that’s the way) and a lot of people will always want to be far from you. As I have said “flexibility is the mother of friendship” and friendship is the foundation for any relationship. Nobody will marry you if he or she has not succeed of been your friend, and you can only win a friend only when you are flexible yourself. When you are too rigid you make yourself enemy quickly. Any person in an office environment that is always too rigid a want his way at all time, all succeed in earning him or herself an enemy. You have to learn to let of something at times. I am not saying violate your Christian value, but there are lot of thing you can actuary let go, so flexibility sometimes to discomforting yourself to please or win other people. That was why Paul in the bible said “I became Jew to win the Jew.” It is difficult to see a rigid person having a fruitful relationship.
For you to win people you need to be flexible, even in your choice of partner; he must be tall, he must be a banker, he must dress well, he must be this, he must be that. At times even if your desire was a tall guy and you now meet a short guy you should be able to use others of his qualities to amend what he those not have. You want a short black guy, and now you are seeing a short black person that is caring, God fearing, that means he has other qualities that can cover up for the tallness. Don’t be rigid that he must be tall. The in all your life you keep meeting people that is short; it means that maybe you are destined to marry a short person.
Even as a leader of the home as a man, you have to be flexible, we know you are the head of the house, but at times give your wife a chance to make decisions. “It will not happen I am the man of the house” should stop. You wife have an opinion, listen again to the opinion, think over it, it could just be the best one, don’t be rigid when you are making a decision for your home. I tell people, two things happen to men that don’t listen to their wives, it is either they die poor or they die early.
Flexibly makes you have friends all around the world, it makes you have crowed. Two men I can tell you have the spirit of flexibility and they are almost controlling the world. Pastor Late Kenneth Hagin was a flexible person, He will preach in Catholic Church, he will preach in Baptist church, he was not stiff in his daughtry as a pastor, and he knows who he is. He was not saying this is the wrong one, and this was not the wrong one, because of that he was able to influence the whole of America, Asia he influenced almost all churches and even influenced Africa. He also has a spiritual son Pastor E.A Adeboye who was able to also adopt that sprit of flexibility, He is a father to almost all the churches in Africa and beyond, just because he is flexible. He does not chase away people, when you come to him he accepts you.
If you are flexible you will be able to win friends more than you think, so flexibility will win you husband before you know it.
BE SLOW TO ANGER
The bible made us to understand in Proverb 14:17 it says he that he that is soon angry and quick to anger deals foolishly, if you are soon and quick to anger you always deal foolishly and you know nobody wants foolish people around them, nobody wants to choose a foolish man as a friend. Proverb 14:29 says; He that is slow to anger is of good understanding, and Proverb 16:32 says he that is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and greater than he that rules a city, because there is a treasure that comes from you been slow to anger. So to be slow to anger is a key, a strong key to win people around you. As a human it is not everything that someone says that you respond to, not because you don’t know your right but because you don’t just want to respond. So we need to be slow to anger if we must win people around us.
BUILD A GOOD CHARACTER
Character is a person personality plus the influence of the environment, so it is not only your personality that makes a character, but also with the things around you. Your character can also be influence with things and friends, what you hear can also influence you, so for you to win people around you, you must build a character. The bible made us to understand in Proverb 14:20 the bible made us to understand that “the poor is hated by his own neighbor” that poor doesn’t mean he is poor only in material substance, he can be poor in character, he can be poor in anything, so when you see that poverty don’t just think it is poverty in material substance. People are poor in character, so when you are poor in character you are hated by your own neighbor. So when you are a poor person in character, you have the inability to communicate properly, and in your personality you become hated by people around you and when you are hated by people around you, nobody will want to accept you. “I have seen people that got married by recommendation.” What do people in your environment say about you? What if someone had to be picked in your area would you be picked? Who are you? What kind of character do you display? You have to learn to develop a proper character. Intelligent can take you to an extend but character is what sustain anything, there are people that use intelligent to get a work but character make them to be displeased, character is what really defines you. Your attitude is what defines your personality, it is what defines the height you will go in life so you need to learn how to develop a proper character if you must go forward in life. The reason maybe you have not found somebody to marry you, may just be because of character.
The reason you see ugly people getting married is because they have good character and good heart, you see a cripple getting married to a person with two legs because of character. Don’t think it beauty, beauty only makes you attractive. You must build a character if you must be chosen by people.
DON’T BE OVER RIGHTEOUS
A lot of people have loose spouses because of self righteousness, over righteousness, they know more, only Jesus is their only elder brother not another person’s brother, people will just get tired of you. You will be thinking you are evangelizing mean while you are losing friends. You sit down with people and the only issue you talk about is Jesus. What about issues that have to do with life? There are some girls that men have gotten tired of because they are over righteous. “This is a sin, this is this, this is that.” Jesus died for everybody, he did not die for you alone. It is not what you say that make you righteous, it is the character you display, your personality, how you relate with people, that’s what makes you a Christian. Not by words, not by appearance that makes you righteous. Learn to talk other issues, not only church, church, church matters, it can piss people off.
You have to learn to be friendly, the bible made us to understand in Proverb, it says he that wants must first show himself friendly. You must first introduce the friendship for somebody to buy it, you must develop a friendship attitude, if you must be friends with people. As I have said before, if a child of God respond the way an unbeliever responds to issues then what makes you a child of God? If someone offends you, the way a market woman will dance you will dance the same way then what’s the difference. You must be friendly even if the environment does not allow it, create it. There also be people offending you but sometimes let go, and show friendship.
MAKE GOOD FRIENDS
When you have good friends, you will learn how to develop good attitude. Do you know people who have rude friends area always rude people? You will want to make you feel like you are a fool. “Show them you are capable” over time you begin to behave like the bad people, but when you make good friends, you become good. I have seen men when they are in companies of others, they will want to act like they cheat on their wife, when they don’t, because they know everyone cheats on their wives. But they can also be another group of companies and they don’t even think of cheating on their wife, because they are in a right environment. The friends you choose determine who you will become, so learn to choose your friend, choose good friend the bible says a wise man choose his own friend. Don’t let people choose you and before you know you start rolling with them, sit down to choose and select your friends, to become a better person