1. BE RESPONSIBLE:
Marriage is not for children, neither is it for people that do not know from their left to their right, marriage are for responsible adult. The other name for marriage is responsibility. The moment you engage in a relationship that will be productive you have to adapt the attitude of countability. A lot of people are not responsible, that is why their relationship never gets to succeed. If you choose to add another person to your life, be responsible for that person, weather you are a man or a woman. Been responsible means you are under obligation to do something. God is a responsible God that is why his kingdom reigns forever. To have a lasting marriage and relationship you have to put yourself aside and care for your partner. Be responsible for your actions and mistakes. Whenever you wrong your spouse, own up and do everything possible to resolve the issue, when you misbehave own up to it and apologies sincerely. There are relationships today that have packed up because the people involve where too proud to apologize. If you want to enjoy peace in your relationship or home these words should not be far from your mouth. Words like; I am sorry, Please forgive me, I love you, you are special thank you, these words are like magic they can relief a angry heart and also make a heart to fall in love, as often as you use these words you help to set things that were heading in the wrong direction in order. You don’t become less a man because you apologize to a woman, it does not mean you are weak when you say you are sorry, it shows real strength. The quickest way to know a man with a complex issue is they never apologize for their wrong. This shows he has low self esteem, because he knows when he says he is sorry he makes him weak, so he rather chose to be rude and arrogant. Never marry and arrogant man because you will become angry and a lot of people will hate you. Even God hate arrogance, He says He resist them, he hates their look, learn to be responsible. Responsibilities also means doing your duties, no spouse love an irresponsible partner, as a wife you duties include making sure your home is tighten, your family eats when they should, and the income in your marriage is properly managed, you are a wealth manager. Your duty as a wife is to add colors to your husband life, not to frustrate him by comparing him with others, and reminding him of things he is unable to do.
As a husband your duty includes, providing for your family, financially, spiritually, socially. You must become imitator of God, the reason why God is always relevant and always respected is because he is a provider. If God was just there and does not do anything to affect your life positively, no one will regard him. As a husband you are the spiritual head of your home, I personally pity women that marry unbelieving husband, because challenge is a part of life, and the most effective solution God has given to use to overcome challenges is growing spiritually on an issue. If two shall agree touching anything on earth it shall be done for you, says the bible. When you marry a man that do not believe in God, you are sure to stay on a challenge longer because your overcoming straight that should have increase to ten thousand capacity is still in one thousand. Life is tougher when you do not have a partner to agree with, instead of you to be teaming up against challenges, he or she becomes your first challenge.
2. FOLLOW GOD’S MODEL:
It’s only a cook that knows he or her recipe, no marriage can fail following God’s model, the reason for failure in life, marriage and relationship is always because of disorder, when you chose to go out of order, your life also get out of shape. Even with our physical bodies, when you chose to eat out of order for a long time you body begin to get out of shape, when it comes to marriage, He says to a man “Love your wife as Christ love the church and give his life for her”. What does this statement means? It simply means model your home after me. Treat her the way He treats you, if every man will chose to treat his wife in the example of Christ divorce will become outdated word. Let’s carefully look at the leadership of Christ with his disciples and follow this model.
· He was the one who choose his disciples: as a man you should chose you wife not your parents.
· He was a responsible leader: from the time he chose his disciples he became responsible for their welfare, he cared for them.
· He never allowed interference: as a leader the moment he chose his followers, he never allowed interference from his biological mother and siblings. Your wife and your immediate family should be given priority over others. A man should leave is father and mother and stick to his wife because your family welfare will be ask of you at the last day. Look at the scripture, Christ was relating back to God he said, “While I was with them I kept them in your name which was given to me, I guarded them and not one of them had been lost except the son of prediction that the scripture might be fulfilled. If it was not important that no one under you should be lost, Christ will not be relating this back to God who sent him to the world. So you wife and your children welfare are part of the things that God will ask you of when you meet him.
· Jesus operated in quality: He said to his disciples “no longer will I call you servant for the servant does not know what the master is doing” but I call you friends for all that I have heard from my father I have made known to you. Your wife is not your servant but your friend, the role model says so.
· He cared: when he saw the crowed He had compassion on them because they were harassed and helpless like a sheep without a shepherd, your wife well been should be permanent in your heart
· He operated in leadership by services: He washed his disciple’s feet.
· He loved to the end: Jesus loved to the end, not because His disciples were in good behavior. God expect the union in a man and a woman to be exactly that of Christ. Love your spouse to the end no matter the challenges along the way. And on the other hand you will find out his disciples also followed him till the end. The world have no relationship success secrete, God does. Jesus is the secrete of keeping the wine in your marriage fresh. Mary, His biological mother has to recommend Jesus in the marriage at Canaan to renew their wine, when they were running out of one.
3. NEVER INTRODUCE LIES:
Lies help to destroy relationship foundation, it destroys trust and trust is the foundation that loves stands on. You can rarely love without trust. Never start a relationship of marriage on lies; it will not stand the test of time. No matter how solid your bricks are, they can never stand on a sandy foundation. Always say things the way they are, if anyone hates you for truth, another one will love you for it. Build your relationship on truth and in God’s word any relationship build on lies will break, it is only a matter of time. Note; anyone that wants you to disregard Gods law, in other for you to be together is building your relationship on lie. You have 90% rate of failure and even if you succeed it’s like been welcomed into the life of pain and frustration in marriage. God hates lies, so are humans, no human life can come to this world twice and no one will be willing to entrust his or her own life on a lie. Never allow lies to put you on a spot and make you to lose your spouse love. You cannot pray all night and lie all day and expect a change. Be conscious, stop telling lies as doe it is normal. Learn to be truthful to your spouse; a lot of people are in marriage lying to one and other. Avoid lying by all mist. Keep your relationship with God and that of your spouse. The bad thing about lying is even when you start telling the truth; once you have been know as a liar, people will keep doubting you. Learn to be open, God hate lies, no matter where you are or where you speak the lies from, it is simply lies. If you want a relationship that will work, learn to start building trust.
4. NOTHING CAN RUB TRUTH TOGETHERNESS LIKE PRIDE:
A proud person is rarely a nice person. When it comes to succeeding in marriage, you have to be as nice as possible. Pride is the mother of arrogance, no arrogant person can be a good wife or a good husband. If you must have a good relationship, you must be humble, and be careful the way you present issues. You must be careful not to draw attention to yourself and your ability alone when in relationship. The English dictionary defines humility as been modest, respectful, and not willing to draw attention to one’s self. That attitude that says it must be my way all the time is pride. And also be careful, low self esteem can also make you to be a proud person. If you see people that want to tell you all their achievement in one day, or that want to tell you all they have got, they have low self esteem, and to cover that up, they have to tell you all they have. No marriage can survive in the soil of pride.
WAYS TO WALK AWAY FROM PRIDE
Ø Always remind yourself that there is nothing special about you, or what you have if not because of the grace of God.
Ø Model your life after Jesus. Doe he was God, He came as a man and still he was humble.
Ø Pray over your life daily. You can pray out the sprite of pride. A lot of people are single today because of pride, they can never say they are sorry when they are wrong. So little issues that could be salted out, will rub them of a beautiful relationship. Pride is an enemy to intimacy in relationship.