Thought are the most powerful force on earth, anything you can see now was first a thought before it became a reality. Marriage was first a thought in God’s heart before it became the most powerful institution that gave birth to human race, and the only institution depended on to raise a successful and godly generation.
Genesis 2:18 says; “then the Lord God said, it is not good that a man should be alone, I will make him a helper fit for him. This was a thought and a discussion, within and among the trinity, nothing becomes real until it is thought on, we are the product of thought. You were once thought in God’s heart and your tomorrow is still a thought in his heart. God thinks of you and those though are positive thoughts, he never thinks of your short comments, your life follows after your thought, so also is your relationship with others.
Your relationship can never be better than you think of it. Your life can never be better than you think of it to become, nobody will ever help you to put value in yourself, or take you to be more valuable than you think you are, the more negative thought you have towards your life, the more of a negative direction your life will go, the more negative thought you think towards your spouse, the more negative they will become. You have to learn to think well of your spouse if you want to see the best of them. I will be asking you a question today; “in your thought life what name does your spouse bear?” that is what they will ever become, if you think of them to be stupid that is all they will ever become. Any name they bear in your heart is the name they will ever become.
This is practical and it is true, what you think of any person determines how you relate with them, and how you relate with any person determines how they will relate back to you. For instance, any person you think to be very civilized when you are around those people, you behave very civilized, and anytime you are together you keep a civilized attitude, that is exactly what thought does to every relationship. The reason some people get into a relationship, and they end up wrongly it is not because the other person it at fault, it’s because of their thought and their actions.
You have to learn to think of your spouse in the light of what you want them to become. If you can think of your spouse and behave to them, in the light of what they will become, you will have an excellent relationship. If your relationship must become better, you have to first change your thinking pattern, which will help you to change your character, and a good character is what sustains every good relationship. There is nothing I can tell you today that will help you to change your character if you don’t change your thought. Everything that you will ever become is as a result of the way you think.
For anybody to be grateful for instance they have to be thoughtful and for your relationship to be successful, you have to think of your relationship in the light of what you want them to become. If every man and every woman will treat their spouse in the light of what they will become in the future, divorce will become an outdated word. That is what God does to us, God will see a man in a beer parlor today, but he will not treat him because of where he is today, because of what He had imagined him to be. He will be in a beer parlor doing everything wrong, but God will be protecting him know that he will serve Him in the future.
I was talking to a lady recently who called me from one of the Africa countries, she was like “do you mean I should stay in my marriage no matter what is happening?” I told her it is the imagination of the finish product that gives every goldsmith the energy to go through the process of refining gold, your husband is work in progress, where he is right now is not where he will die in, you have to learn to think of your husband as a finish product. When you look at that finish product, who you want him to become than he will give you the energy to go through the process of today.
God never give to any man a finished product, he gives you a raw material, your marriage may be in a raw state right now, you need your thought, you need your prayers, you need your patient, you need your faith, to refine that marriage to become admirable. But first, you have to think of your marriage in the light you want it to become, so from today start treating your spouse as doe they are already in your future.
If you can do that long enough, you will find out that gradually, your spouse will start conforming to the image in your heart and in your spirit. We give up too soon, we are in a generation that gives up too soon, it is not just about you and your spouse, it is more than that, you have to be a father, or tomorrow a grandfather that your generation will look back on and say my father was never divorced, so therefore I will not be divorced. You must be determined to become a reference point, you must be a mother that your great-grandchildren will look back to and say my grandmother was a wonderful woman.
There is no devious in my generation so I will not be divorced. It is beyond you and your spouse, if you give up too soon in that marriage today, you have left in your generation a familiar spirit. Devious will become to your children a familiar spirit, and trust Satan, he will come again to your daughter, he will come again to your son and fight them to finish. Then if you could not stand him and withhold him today and say no to that, who tells you that your son or daughter can also stand and say no. it will be very unfair that what you can deal with today, you are leaving it for the next generation to fight.
Today we can read the scripture and we see men like Noah that was given a vision, doe hundreds of years pass by and it looks like nothing was happening, but he kept to that vision until he saw what God told him. We should learn to be a generation that will be a reference point, you may not be the president of the world, but be a hero to your children. The success you want in your marriage will first of all start in your heart.
You have to change the thought in your heart, you have to change the way you think of your wife, you have to change the way you think of your husband, they may be in a state you don’t like right now, but that is not all they have, they are a treasure raped up in a trash. You have to be patient, you have to be like that miller and that goldsmith that looks at the finished product, and gets derived because of what he sees in the future. It is very easy to destroy, it is very easy to quit your marriage, it may be tougher to build, but buildings do look beautiful when they are finished.
The reason God can still relate to us in spite of our shot falls is that he does not deal with us base on where we are right now or where we have been, but because He thinks of us in light of who we will become. When you start thinking of your spouse and treating him in the light of who he will become, your marriage or relationship will become an envy of all.
This kind of thinking pattern will settle a lot of people in their God-ordained home. A lot of women and a lot of men have missed their true partners because they were only treasure rapped in the trash. They were not patient enough to refine their treasure, they were not patient enough to use patient to remove the trash and discover the treasure, and you have to learn to be patient. One of the reasons for delayed marriage is the inability to manage people, and managing people is largely dependent on the way you pensive life.
If you think wrongly you will behave wrongly. That is why the Bible advises us to guide our hearts with all diligence because out of it are the issues of life. The strongest pollution of marriage forms in the heart and it gives expression through the mouth. The initiation of marriage forms in the heart and separation and deviousness is also sin. You have to learn to think right of your spouse, in other to act right to them. The reason people do not give their best of character, commitment, sacrifices into their relationship anymore is that they are not confident that the relationship will work, and that kind of thinking pattern will definitely end every relationship.
Because if you think it will work, it will work, if you are doubtful it will not work. A lot of relationship fails because people enter with the mentality “I hope it will work”. Not it will work because they see it working, if only you can think of your spouse’s in the light of Ephesians 4:8 you will have a marriage made in heaven. Ephesians 4:8 says “Finally my brothers, what so ever is true, what so ever is honorable, what so ever is just, what so ever is pure, what so ever is lovely, what so ever is commendable, if there is any excellence, did you hear that? If there is anything wordy of praise, think of these things.
So your job is to be looking at any excellence that is in your spouse’s and meditate on it. When you can do that, you can subdue the negative side of him. And the scripture continues and it says, “Whatever you have received, heard or see in me, practice these things and the God of peace will be with you. There is one character that God has, and he told us about it, that he never thinks of our negative side. He says I know the thought I have towards you, they are thought of peace not of evil, to give you hope and a future.
The only way God and his peace can be in your marriage and in your life is when you start learning to think like those things, think positively of your spouse. Verse nine lay emphases, it says what so ever you have heard of me practice these things. If you can think of your spouse as God thinks of you, your marriage will be the one that is made in heaven. God was able to win us back to Himself because He thought well of us. If you want to be always loved by your spouse and help him to love you in return, keep thinking right of him or her people will always make mistakes, never forget that, but you have to learn to be to your spouse’s, what God is to you.
Until you are able to do that you are not qualified for the peace that God brings. God always pushes always our wrong from his heart and always forgives all our wrongs, which are the only secret of a successful relationship. I will always say, marriage is the coming together of two givers and two forgivers. If you are not a person that is always willing to let go of wrong, you are not a candidate for marriage.
The first thing to learn when you are thinking of getting married is to learn how to dust of offense, because your spouse will wrong you more than any person in the world, you have to always be willing to let go. Just the same way God always let go of your wrong. Remember marriage is an institution made after God hundred percent of His person is within a man and a woman, so you cannot be successful in marriage without learning one of the qualities of God that is around Him, that is the quality of forgiveness. You can’t know God without know that character of forgiveness in Him. Until you are ready to practice that in your marriage, you are not ready for successful marriage life.