June 13, 2021

CAN YOU REALLY FORGIVE AND FORGET?

It is generally said “forgive and forget”. When someone offended you and he or she comes to apologize, you hear a common word from the individual; please forgive me. When the person comes with a friend or a relation to apologize as a spoke person, the person uses a common phrase “please just gives and forget”. But the big question here today is, can someone really forgive and forget?  

According to a friend of mine, nobody on earth can really forgive and forget. Someone might have offended you knowing or unknown, he or she renders an apology and you decided to forgive the person, that doesn’t mean you forgot. The plain truth might be yes, you really forgave the person and you guys are back to old times, but there can never be a way that you will forget. He later indicated even if you promise yourself that you will never talk about what has happened, there will be something that will always remind you of it.

Let say the same person, who you forgave a few months back, is doing something or someone else is reflecting to the same thing, your memory will always flashback to how you reacted to the last situation. In other words, you might just want the give the person a piece of advice, or remind him or her on how the same attitude led to an apology.  In doing so you just remembered what they pleaded you to forget.  

Another example will be when a friend of yours, talks about exactly the same story or situation. Let’s give the example of a cheating husband. You as a wife, after so many apologies and promises of change from your husband, adding “it will never happen again”, you forgave and forget. Now your friend is telling that she caught her husband cheating, even before you render any advice or condolence, you will always talk about your own experience, behavior, and attitude when you caught your own husband cheating. This is not the fact that you did not forgive him, it is just the fact that you can forget even if you forgive.

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